General Kurt Fist - Scissors Party

General Kurt Fist is a former member of the American military. After surviving the hellfire of the War in Grenada, Fist quickly rose the ranks until he became a decorated military general. He was forced to leave the American military because his views were a little too "extreme" and his rants were "borderline megalomaniacal". General Fist’s Platform is as follows:

  • Destroy Our Enemies
  • Become Closer With Our Allies...And Then Destroy Them As Well
  • Education Reform
  • Heavy Investment in “World-Ending” Type military weapons
  • More bike paths
  • Unwavering and unconditional support from all branches of government and all the people in the United States, all the time

His closest advisor is his younger niece who’s getting big on Tik Tok. He has no wife and children. This is because a wife and children would have slowed down his progress. Not because he has his heart broken. Do not ask him about that.

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